Cashier Labour~

Wah sai~ i've nv stand so long without sitting down since bmt... but it wasn't even tat tiring in bmt compare to wat i've gone through last nite :P or maybe it's just tat i'm getting weak, n i tink there's some problems with my back bone...

Went to work as cashier labour at Zouk last nite... yup u heard me, but i tink some of my frenz wont believe me, cause i dont really like to go crowded places especially clubbing etc :P... but in need of cash n i can't find a full time job till FEB due to the NTUC overnite watch i promised to do till end of JAN... so ytd i worked from 9pm till every party animal left, which was abt 5am this morning.... got paid straight away after finishing a day's work... got abt $52 in one nite... quite ok although gotta stand all the way, with breaks in between, but at least gotta see lots n lots of pretty gals :P hahaha... n they even got buses to send their workers back to their homes...

Reached home abt 5.45am, mom was already awake... she initially objected me from going to work at Zouk... cause she's scare of the the way ppl behave at clubs, scared tat i might go astray... but i insisted in doing it n went anyway... end up she oso gave up n trusted tat i know wat i'm doing... anyway i'm already 23 if i were to go astray i might have already have done so long ago hehehe :P but i oso felt rather bad making my mom worry sick abt me...

And my god i almost struck 4D ytd... 3rd prize some more... the no 7354 just appeared in my mind 2days ago so i went to buy 4D ytd... but the 3rd prize no was 3547... hai~ just my luck... maybe i'm not entirely sincere when i prayed to "Ti Gong"... or maybe he got no internet n doesn't understand the words i typed in my previous post :P hahaha nvm just gotta wait n see if sometingy might happen in 2nite's TOTO :P

Now i only got 2 tingys to do... wait for 2 phone calls... one from Zouk's Andy to confirm wif me the next date i would be working... the other is from HP, 2day is the 3rd working day n i've yet to receive any calls or wat so ever from them abt collecting my free Desktop PC after re-contracting with starhub... hai~ hope 2day they call...

Router No More~

Finally after more than a year... i've sold my Linksys wireless-B broadband router... i've put the auction up on ebay n hardwarezone for a week... at last a guy emailed me wanting to buy it from me for $45... i thgt i could sell it for $60... but nobody wants it... cause it's considered an old model already... they r selling wireless-G out in the market.... but mine is still in super condition :P cause i didnt open the box after i got it back from challenger, reason is i didnt haf a use for it... n got it free when i signed up from starhub...

anyway, went down to do the transaction for this guy... i didnt realised till i saw him in person, he's a foreigner but working n living in sg i suppose... i sold him less than the price i wanted cause i thgt not much ppl would want this model nowadays... since he wanted it n $45 is considered quite a gd offer for me already... i agreed to sell it to him...

at least now i got enough $$ to last me abt 2-3 more weeks :P but already spent $10 on ez-link card n $5 on food 2day... luckily mom helped me to buy my bread n ham... so i can spend less these week n keep it for the next...

hehehe i find it crazy... but i had an urge to buy 4D n TOTO this week... maybe cause of the financial crisis... i know buying lottery is kinda waste of $$, since i'm trying to save up... but not much harm would be done when i'm buying it once in a blue moon :P

"Ti Gong Boh Bi Wa Dio Bie Bio, TOTO Lu Geng Hor... Dio Liao Buay Sio De, Sio Guay Ga Le Bai" :)

What is Happiness?

not sure why n oso dont even know when it started, but nowadays watever i do, i'm always feeling unhappy... dont really know wats wrong with me either... maybe i've been tinking too much abt money matters... it's been really restricting my everday life... watever i do, eat, drink etc, even a step out of the house, i'm restricting myself from taking bus, i dont mind tat though, cause its a form of exercise for me...

but wherever i go, i cant really do anytingy... cause every single tingy out there requires $$... maybe till i get a job n a stable income... then maybe my happiness would come back to me...

ytd on the way back home to bedok after a movie at TM, i started to feel sooo lost n sad in the bus... not sure why... but i was just overwhelm by the unhappiness... felt rather down... i almost wanted to drown myself in food again... luckily it was abt 11.30pm most stalls in the market were closed... so i just went 7-11 to get a drink n a sweet... then walked home from there... so tired of my life... notingy in my life would make me happy even for just one whole day... there would always be sometingy else to ruin it in the day... hai~

just watched "Love Actually" on StarMovies... there was this saying:

"Christmas is the time you spend with the ones you love."

but i guessed that i would never get to spend it with the one i loved most...

~ORD~

Finally, after 2yrs 4months of service. I've ORD yesterday on the 23rd of Dec 2005 :P Got to see my pink IC again after these few yrs... hehe i looked like a kid in my pink IC, tink would go change my IC photo if i haf the chance :P

Now really gotta find a job soon liaoz... but earliest i could start is still after Jan, cause of the overnite part time jobby with NTUC... meantime just gotta find some part time to do...

Althgh of the financial problem i'm having this month... i just realised tat my max online's contract had expired, so i quickily called up starhub to sign up with their promotion, the max online 6500 with a desktop free... so i would be getting a new PC soon.... maybe in a couple of weeks time... cause i've already cut down on my bills with all the rewards points i got... then when i signed up for the new contract, i would only need to pay abit more than usual, maybe abt $30 more... just gotta see the next bill loh :P at least after all these yrs of saying tat i wanna get a new PC... i finally got 1... althgh it wont be the ideal PC i wanted... but it would do just fine cause it's much better than the one i'm using now...

Hai~ also had been trying to sell away my Linksys wireless-B router... but not much ppl wanna buy it leh, it's nv used before n still no one interested in it... sian~ if still no one want it then i may just haf 2 keep it back in the store room till i got the need to use it myself...

Well... no more need to go back camp or anytingy liaoz hehe so... i can continue with my diet program :P hope i could really lose till 75kg or even 70kg this year... which is one of my new yr resolutions :P

First week after receiving my pay cut on the 10th. Spent $130 on bills, $34 on insurance, the rest r gonna be used for daily life. But it's been kinda hard since i limited myself on my weekly spendings. I did spend under the limit i set for myself, which was $15 per week, but tat prevents my from spending $$ on any other tingys. I even gotta tink twice n calculate my allowance b4 i spend $ on food n drinks.

It's been sometime since i ever enjoyed my life. Keep on living day in day out tinking abt whether to spend the $$ anot. Still gotta wait till i find a perm job b4 all this could go away. But i can't work for a perm job till FEB, cause i'll be doing a NTUC job in JAN, n it requires me to work from 10pm till next morning 8am, which means i can't do any other 8-5 jobs or shifts or any other jobs during tat period of time. All i could do now is try to find some short duration part time to cover my JAN n FEB. Cause i would only get paid for the NTUC like end of FEB. Two months without $$ to spend, gonna be hard...

People r happy when the ORD, but i'm not... cause tat marks the actual start of my life, n my current situation won't do any gd for the start of my life... just hope tat i would be enjoying my life later on, cause i'm already suffering even b4 the start of my life journey...

My life is starting to crumble~

Thought tat my last NS pay would still be $430, but i was wrong. i just went down to pay my starhub bills n withdraw $30, checked my account... only left $173 till i ORD on x'mas eve... how am i gonna live my life after i ORD sia... if i cant get a job by tat time, then i really gotta find a job at NTUC or any fastfood restaurant 1st... tis is giving me such a headache... all these years... $$ had been giving me headaches... CB terrorists, if 911 didnt happen then my dad's business should still be successful... but now we r still struggling our lifes after declaring bankruptcy a abt 2 years back...

Now i really gotta cut down my weekly/monthly expenses... i had limited myself to abt $30 per week before i saw the pay just now... so i changed it all... limiting to just $15 per week n abt $60 per month... so now everyday i would still be feeding on bread n ham, as part of my diet... but instead of 4 slices of bread per day, now i'm just gonna take 2 slice of bread n a slice of ham, half of it in morning n the other half in the evening... just hope i wont faint :P but will still be buying apples n fish, cause just having bread would make my diet unhealthy... would still be going swimming though... at most if really cannot afford it anymore then would just stick to jogging... so all these tingys r spent at abt $15 per week... any more than tat would cause unwanted headaches again...

I've withdrawn $30 just now... cause i wanted to reward myself for awhile... i ordered KFC for my saturday meal, lunch+dinner on tat KFC i ordered... i've lost abt 9-10kgs since my diet... really gotta reward abit... but after tat really gonna go into my survival test liaoz... hai~ did i do sometingy tat bad to deserve all these? why is everytingy in my life going down n further down... wanna climb up oso hard... when every step i take there is bound to be a banana skin on the floor for me to step onto n fall further down... hai~ how can i NOT be pessismistic?

Change of background song~

Changed the background song to this new song... by kang kang... i love this song... especially the way it's written...

Swimming Resumes~

Finally, the dead skin on my back r almost gone... left only a few spots tat i am unable to reach n scrub them off... anyway they look ok to me, so decided to go swimming today... wanted to swim yesterday, but it was getting kinda late so i just went NTUC to buy somemore hams n lettuce, i spent my last $10 on them... n spent the rest of the change on some dim-sum... hehe gotta break my fast once in awhile mah :P anyway have been maintaining my weight at 88kg... will just slowly lose the rest of the kgs from now on... :P

Anyway, actually wanted to swim this morning... wanna try how the morning pool feels like... its been a long time since i swim in the morning at bedok swimming complex... but i just cant get up this morning... the earliest i could was at 10am... but afraid tat i might get sun burnt again i waited till abt 2pm before i went out... lucky i waited... cause it started to rain at abt noon... as usual, i walked all the way to the swimming complex... its kinda a habit already... to walk to anyway as long as i'm by myself... it's already the sch holidays, luckily there wasnt much kids swimming today... but one thingy tat's starting to bug me... the couples in the pool... always talking at one corner sometimes at the end of the lanes... then gotta change direction in order not to swim into them... i know it's non of my business whether they r swimming or not in the pool... but it just makes my sick... if they wanna soak in water together... then mind as well soak at home in a bath tub... hai~ just gotta try not to be distracted by these ppl...

Dental & FFI

Went for my dental & medical appointment on moday... the dental was at Selarang Camp near CABwest, 4 of us were doing these appointments together, dennis, cher, paw n me :P... it's been years since i visited the dentist, n not been brushing my teeth regularly... so, when they checked my teeth, they found lots of decay... they were kind enough to help me fixed abt 4-5 of the decay, but they wanted me to go out n do the front 2 teeth myself... cause it's decaying too... but i didnt notice the decay... but anyway, i would be going 2 a dentist after i get my last pay this saturday, cus i'm now broke again, yup $0 in my wallet n less than $5 in my bank... so in the mean time, all i could do is just start to brush my teeth regularly n rinse with listerine...

After the dental in the morning, we waited till after lunch before going for our FFI... we did urine test, eye test, all other usual stuffs... it was kinda fast... thgt it would take the whole afternoon to do it, thgt it would be a full body check up... hahaha but its just a simple routine check... ohh yah... i finally used up all my emart credits... bought a running shoe, no.3 shoe, a swimming trunk n some socks, even spent the remaning credits on toilet rolls for the ppl in the emart... hahaha

Hai~ my PC monitor is dying... poor tingy has been with me for abt a decade already hahaha... moved with me from our 1st home in bedok to tampines... then back here to bedok again... its time i get a new set of PC... this loyal PC of mine, their parts r already out-dated :P but yet serving me well hahahaha :P no matter wat i will still continue using it, till it no longer functions... the monitor is already flickering abit... n shadows r appearing at the corners... just hope it will last till i get a job... cause my resume is still in it... if it die off now i would have to get a new one or even a 2nd-handed from cash converter, which i dont think will last long either... haha

But i cant buy a new PC yet... the earliest i could buy one would be after i get a job n receive my 2nd pay... cause my monthly expenses now is abt $500... taking tat i might get a pay of over $1000, $500 for use n the rest for the PC... so at least the 2nd pay then i could get one... maybe i would buy a monitor 1st... n the rest of it later on... cause i still gotta give allowances to my parents... well, i hope i could give them... :P

Dear monitor... please bear with me for another 3 months...

Finally i've finish writing out my resume... but i'll only start sending them next week... cause i havent put it into softcopy... its so hard to write a resume man... dont know wat to put in it... kinda regret y i didnt do well in my O-levels... if i could pass my geography, chemistry n english at one go i could have gone into hospitality management in TP n maybe look for F&B job now... but i might not be in RSAF for my NS... hehehe so there r good n bad views to all these...

Now just hope i would get a satisfying job as an engineer in the near future... else i might go back NTUC be storeman again muahahaha :P hope i could survive for the rest of my years... should be abit more easy cause would only be supporting my parents n myself... wont be looking forward to start my own family... cause tats my fate...

Hai~ just now went bedok town park for a jog... wanna try see how's my 2.4km timing, now tat i've lost a few kgs... but then it was worst than i thgt it would be... i took 14.20mins to run the 2.4km... thgt i could be faster than tat... not sure y i'm still so slow... maybe cause of the slight up hills in the park... although they r small but the effect is too much when i'm running... hai~ still not used to running 2.4km... tried to do chin ups too... but still cant even break the zero... now stomache muscles kinda aching... think yesterday do too much push ups strained my stomache muscles hehehe :P arm oso abit aching... think i did abt 100 push ups within 2hrs... cause was doing it while playing winning eleven 9... telling myself before every match do 20 push ups n if let in one goal i would do another 10, 10 more for lost n 5 for a draw... haha i oso lost count how many matches i played...

hai~ hope my back skin would peel off faster... so i could go swimming again... started peeling off 2 days ago after i got sun burnt from the last swim... now i never go swim like beri sian... nothingy much more to do liaoz... except running... hahaha :P

SIANSATION~

Nowadays i keep waking up after 12noon... never earlier than tat :P cause i've been staying up late watching tv n playing games... really must change this habit already... else gonna be hard for me after i ORD... only 5 more weeks till i ORD... i have yet to find a job... wonder if i could find one... gonna be broke again... went swimming again today at abt 3pm... on the way there i kept thinking but my life... feel kinda worthless... so fat n not much skills... only thingy i'm good at is spending $$... hai~

Stopped by the ATM to check on my savings... not much left for me this month... abt $40 left n i haben pay my hp bill yet... althgh it's only $27... gotta wait till my last pay day... just hope i can survive after i ORD... if i can pass my ippt i would sure sign on with RSAF... but just too bad...

I wanna takes thingys easy... just wanna relax... but keep thinking abt my future makes me headache... sometimes i wonder why are all people working day and night just to make a living... then years later we just die or even just wait to die... sometimes i feel the life or an animal is better than a human...

Went to Giant Supermarket after swimming... wanted to see if the thingys there are cheaper than NTUC... hehe they're not... NTUC sells at a lower price n sometimes they got on sale items too... but the thingys nowadays are getting more n more expensive... everytime i would spend near $20 just to buy ham, bread, veggies, juices, n other essentials... think i spent nearly $100 this month in NTUC hahaha :P going on a diet could be expensive too...

Hai~ should really start writing my resume tomorrow n search for a temp part time job... it's rather boring staying home everyday... only sometimes go swimming n jogging... but nothingy much interesting to do... without $$ it's hard to find pleasure...

Wah sai~ today super tiring sia... just came home from a swim at bedok swimming complex... went there abt 1145... i walked from my house to the swimming complex... abt 30mins plus lah... nowadays i haven't been taking the bus... unless i'm going out with frenz or watever... otherwise i would just walk... even only just going 2 library to return book i oso walk there :P hehe trying 2 lose weight lah no choice... hehe then only take lift when i'm going down... coming back home i would use the stairs... this is my 1st time since i moved to this blk... tat i've used the stairs to reach my home hehehe :P been doing all these for the past 3weeks liaoz... luckily got some results ar... if not i sure cry hahaha :P work so hard but notingy in return...

Anyway... back to the pool... reach there abt 1220 liaoz... not much ppl swimming cus most of them sun tanning... really hot sia today... after few days of continuous rain... finally today the clouds gave way to the sun hehehe :P and because the weather's so hot... it makes the water in the pool feel really cold when i enter it... woo hoo almost cannot tahan...then swim 1st lap only... i find it weird... having abit of trouble controlling my breathe n movements... so i stopped n rest awhile before continuing... hehe maybe cause the water too cold... cant adapt to it tat quickily...

Hehehe n only today then i realised tat i spent abt 1hr just to finish 20 laps... how can i be tat slow sia... hahaha maybe body mass too big... then too much resistence to water... harder to move in water... LOL~ then today my eyes oso eat quite alot of "ice cream" :P saw 2 malay gals wearing bikinis sun tanning... hmm figure quite good woo :P hehehe then beri hard 2 concentrate in swimming LOL~

Ytd went jogging in bedok reservoir... was suppose to meet jianguang n jog together... but he fly me aeroplane... he did sms me saying tampines area gonna rain soon... but it was too late... i was already out of my house... n i nv bring hp along for run... so i waited there for half an hour before i start jogging myself...

It's rather windy jogging around the reservoir... should go there more often now... but one tingy bad abt it is the small stones on the pavement... they keep entering my shoes... then hard 2 run... i almost kana blisters oso... 1st time after sooo many runs at other places... almost kana blisters... now just gotta wait awhile for the leg to heal abit before starting to run again... meanwhile just gotta keep swimming... hehehe :P

Ohh yah... i ran into syed from 4B while jogging at the reservoir ytd... he just came back from work n came down for a jog... he now working for ministry of environment... tink is part time... cant remember properly... said abt $5plus per hr... quite gd job... he just ORD last month n got a job already... i still having difficulty finding one... hai~ just hope i would find one soon... time is not a luxury for me...

Recall, recall~

Hahaha... thought tat there would be a recall 2day, end up i'm just scaring myself... cause there wasn't one... but next week might be recalled... so, i stayed at home the whole 1st half of 2day... didnt even dare to go TP for a swim in the morning... scare later hp ring but i'm in the pool then die... hahaha so 2molo then go swim bah... provided i could wake up :P

Went out for movie at 5pm with weihe, his gf, junchao, jianguang n vincent at marina square... watched harry potter, show ok lah... the plot always the same... enemy only shows his face near the end of the show hahaha :P before tat we went for dinner... had fast food... hai~ i broke fast, i ate fried food for the 1st time... but lucky my weight didnt increase... man the burger we ate was damn HUGE... forgot wat the name of the restaurant was already but it's located in the 1st level near the 7-11... i ate the combo meal "famous star" it was really big sia... but quite nice... maybe becus i long time never eat fast food :P but it was really filling... tink my appetite became smaller again... last time i eat fast food i was never tat full... now just one HUGE burger is making me full... or maybe it's just becus the burger was big... hahaha :P

After the movie weihe even wanted to go bedok Blk85 for supper, but we all quite full liaoz so we scraped tat idea... n went home... on the way home tink i saw jenny, frend from TP... only knew her abit when doing fyp in the same lab... didnt say hi cause scare it's the wrong person hahaha besides me dont know her tat much...

Was quite happy 2day actually... i finally could fit into my old T-shirt again... it was a T-shirt i won from a starhub SCV contest... hehe the contest was abt italian serieA soccer... the T-shirt's size is XL... but it looks more like L on the outside... i could only fit into it when i 1st POP from Tekong... but now i can fit into it again... really beri happy loh... so i will stick to my diet for 2 more weeks... n see wat happens then :P hehe Yippee!!

Nearing the end of my 2nd week of diet plan :P quite happy loh... i finally broke the 90kg mark again haha now me weight is 89kg... didnt do much exercise this week... cause went for 2 job interviews n also the weather not beri good for outdoor exercise... rained a few times when i wanted to go run or swim... end up i didnt hehe :P but still i lost abt 2kgs this whole week... did go down to play basketball... alone lah hehe... only practised shooting for abt 30mins plus then it was gonna rain so went back home... i still suck at close range shots... 3 points still ok hehehe :P

So... abt those 2 interviews... one was on the fast food i talked abt in my previous entry in my blog... turned out they didnt call me after i told them i can only start after december n i cant work on saturdays... cause they said cannot take off on weekends... tink they feel i not right for the jobby... so didnt re-contact me...

Now the 2nd jobby... hahaha... another marketing job again!! i know myself, i'm not the kind of person suitable for marketing... need good communication skills... which i am lack of... said they would put me through courses n exams, after which then i could become sort of a "leader" for others... leading my own group of men... then only one tingy came into my mind when the interviewer told me these tingys... i'm not a leader, i'm a follower... i know myself quite well, wat i can do or wat i am incapable of... they told me to tink it through... cause they need ppl who have completed NS n will be committed... they even arranged a 2nd interview for me the next day... but i turned it down... i know i wont be gd enough to be in marketing...

Hai~ 2 interviews, 2 disappointments... i should really stick to my own diploma... should search for jobby in engineering line... instead of F&B or storeman :P hehehe... but i gotta start writing my resume before i could start looking for a job... must start 2 write tomorrow...

Today damn tired... wake up abt 9am then went down to Bedok Burger King to meet firdus to pass him back his CDs... but he fly my aeroplane... msg him n he replied he gotta work today so cant meet up... sian man waited in BK for half an hr before leaving...

Hai~ anyway... today i read the classified ads n i called up to of them... went to one of it for an interview just now in the evening... i was asked to go to shun li industrial park in kaki bukit... when i was there i cant find the lift so i took the stairs loh... dont know y leh... in bmtc can climb 4 storey now climb 5 only already breathing quite hard... should exercise more sia... hehehe anyway i'm not applying for a job in that industrial park... instead it's like their HQ or sometingy... then the job i might be doing i think is their some kinda franchise or sometingy... the name is Water-Rise Pancake Burgers... abit japanese style leh... hehe sometingy like mos burger kinda job... i havent agreed on the job yet... cause i'm still going for another interview tomorrow at APEX Tower in Tanjong Pagar... wanna see if this job is better than the fast-food job... if it is then i'll turn down the fast-food job hehe :P anyway if i were to do the fast-food job it would also be a part time for me... n furthermore they might not employ me also cause i could only work after i ORD... but if they do then i could at least have a stable income even after i ORD... hey any job is better than no job...

Anyway the second job interview i'm going tomorrow has got various positions available... so they asked me to go down for an interview... so lets see wat happens tomorrow... if worst comes to worst both jobs dont want me then just gotta keep searching... hehehe :P hai~ ended up today i didnt exercise... only compensated by walking home n climbing up stairs even when my back hurts...

Sleepy Saturday~

I practically slept for almost the entire Saturday... i was awake at abt 9am this morning, i got up just to have my sandwich breakfast then when back to play my Lazio game on cm01-02... but i guess i was too tired... cus ytd came home at abt 2am, went out ytd with my frenz to party world ktv in orchard... quite some time nv go ktv liaoz... cus of insufficient income hahaha :P

Anyway, so i laid on my bed which was just infront of my pc... i purposely position my bed so it's now a bed for sleeping n a "sofa" for my table hahaha wat a life :P i kept waking up n falling back to sleep... then was like tillabt 4pm then i was completely awake again... i weight myself... my weight didnt go down 2day cause i never output hehe... so was thinking whether to go for a swim at TP or bedok swimming complex... or go for a run in bedok town park... then i realise i dont have 2 spend a single cent if i go for a run... so i when at abt 5pm...

I ran non-stop... but was kinda slow towards the end... was keep telling myself i must not stop no matter wat... not beri sure how long i took to complete the round... but i finished the run in 7 songs... i was listening to mp3 while running :P maybe taking each song for abt 4mins average... then it should be around 28mins for me to finish the round... then i came back to have my apple dinner... didnt want to eat sandwich this evening... cus i didnt output much... so i just had 2 apples... hehehe :P

Well, it's coming to the end of my 1st week diet plan... i've lost abt 4kgs now... this is the max. i've lost when i'm in singapore... hehe cause i lost more when i was in BMTC in Tekong... back then i lost abt 20kgs... but when i when into airforce i gain back the 10kg... now i just wanna try to take out this 10kgs again hahaha :P

Maybe 2molo i would go TP for a swim in the morning... just hope i could wake up :P wanted to go bedok swimming complex... but thinking tat there might be kids practising how to swim... i rather go TP swim hehehe :P

End of Part-time Job

Finally finished tat boring 4 day part time job in TP... haha didn't realised tat the lecturers there actually turned up for such an event... it's where the lecturers come down to the sports complex to take part in a fitness assessment... they just gotta either run the 2.4km or walk a 2km distance... n after everythingy there was even a lucky draw for them... haha n in between the time when the lecturers were awaiting their turn to run or walk... they got to play games with some of us... the way they played games... i think even the students there lose out to them... they were so sporting n full of energy to play games even before the run... hehehe

Well, TP still looks the same as before... but the ITAS canteen... it's now air-conditioned!!! AIRCON in a school canteen... n only in ITAS... hai~ the students now r so pampered :P hahaha during the work there... i saw eddie, my sec sch mate... he's studying in TP now n is in the track n field team... damn he sure can run... or i should say fly~ he's like the fastest in his team sia hahaha :P was doing this part time with kenny n his army frenz... it was quite a coincidence to bum into jessie from 4B in sec sch... she's doing the same job too... n got to know some new frenz too... but i didnt ask for her phone number lah sorry kenny... hahaha i should have ask it for u hor? LOL :P

Actually i wanted to... but i kinda gave up on gals... making frenz yes... but asking for phone number after knowing her from a part time job... kinda weird... but maybe i should have at least ask for her msn :P hahaha but hey... if there is fate, we would meet again... LOL :P

At least i'm glad tat there's still gals out there who would wanna tok to me n know more abt me... she's kinda sweet... hahaha hai~ :P

Diet Plan

Today is Day 4 of my diet plan... had been going on diet since Monday... only ate breakfast n dinner everyday... i skipped lunch... actually wanted to skip dinner too... which means only 1 meal per day... but i'm too hungry on the 1st night of the diet... so decided to change it to 2 meals a day...

For breakfast, i ate 2 self-made ham sandwiches... then same for dinner... n today is the 4th day... n i've lost abt 2-3kgs hehehehe :P kinda glad abt it... but still gotta watch out cause if i start going back to my normal eating habit... i would become fatter than i was before i start the diet hehe :P so gotta watch wat i eat everyday...

So... frenz, please forgive me if i said no when u all ask me wanna eat anot :P hehehe i must at least slim down to 86kgs... tat was the weight when i POP from BMTC hahaha :P after tat... if i could hit tat target... the next targetr would be my ideal weight which is 75+kgs hahahaha... it's too early to start daydreaming... but must at least set a short-term goal n a long-term goal... if not my life would be absolutely pointless... :P

sian~ thought i would be enjoying my leave this whole of november... but i'm not... part of it is because i've got no $$... spent too much on my malaysia trip in october, that's y now i gotta stay at home everyday... till my next pay day... but at least next month i would have extra $$ cause i'm doing a part time now... well it's just a 4day part time work in TP... not working for TP though hehe...

anyway, staying at home is ok... cause i still got a PS2 and a PC, well i got everythingy at home that could keep me company for the whole day, everyday... but now i'm getting bored :P can't even enjoy going out with friends... cause i gotta watch out on what i spend on... i'm even borrowing $$ from my mom again... borrowed $20 from her already... still got 1 more week to go till pay day... hai~ i think some time next week i would have to borrow another $10 from mom again... only after i get my pay then i could return it to her...

also, staying at home is not a good thingy, especially for me... cause my mind would go wondering around... i think too much... too much till i broke down... a couple of days back, was about to sleep at nite... it was almost 1am i think... i couldn't sleep cause i have too much on my mind... so i played a few songs on the PC... all kinda sad songs :P they kinda make me think more... till the extend that i broke down and cried... the lyrics of the songs were too sentimental... it adds to my heart ache... i even thought to myself: "why didn't ah-ma take me with her when she died" she could have prevented me from suffering so much now...

i cried for about 1/2 an hr that nite... i just can't stop... till i was too tired to think any more, which i think i fell asleep afterwards... i thought about it for quite sometime... why am i crying for somethingy that doesn't even have a start to begin with? why am i crying for when not even a soul cares or appreciates me? i don't know... all i know now is... i got parents to take care of... and i'm gonna work to ensure they live a happy life... i'm not gonna work for anybody else... cause i know in this world... nobody appreciates or cares about me except my parents and family...

i don't wanna think about relationship stuffs anymore... well i try not to think about it... i mind as well stay single cause this is a cruel and materialistic world... everyone is going after $$, fame, sweet talks and looks... wanna know why? ever heard anyone saying "hey, that fat guy/gal looks handsome/pretty"? i'm just sick of this world... but i just gotta try to ignore all these everyday in my life and live on... all i can say is it sucks...

a new look for my blog~ got it from blogskins tis time... cus i can't tink of any more designs better than tis :P

Changed my blog song~

Ice Cream Fraud~

i just woke up at 5pm 2day... slept for the whole saturday... cus fri nite i was playing game again... finally was abt to familiarise how to play winning eleven 9 cus it's harder than we8 man haha :P anyway tis is not the main point... when i woke up mom was already preparing dinner... n she told me there's a pack of nasi lemak for me... bought from breakfast i presume hahaha as usual i heat up the nasi lemak n ate it... dont wanna waste food mah... so i'm gonna be having a late dinner 2nite :P

then she told me there's tis durian ice cream in the fridge... those tat u need to cut the ice cream urself n put it in between 2 pieces of wafer... like those tat uncles sell on their mobile ice cream bike... so i ask how she bought it... thgt she got it from seng song... but then she said ytd nite when i went down to blk 85 for dinner... some kids came n sold it to her... door to door sales... my mom was too kind hearted... wanna know how much tat bar of durian ice cream cost? $14!!! f*** you i can buy 2 tubs of walls ice cream n it tastes much better... if i was at home tat time... i wouldnt haf let my mom bought from them... i feel cheated... i feel my mom had been cheated by these kids... I HATE THESE PPL!!

i haf no idea which company or watever asks these kids to go door to door sales... i know walls ice cream do tat to promote their ice cream... but this one? wat brand is it? cost $14??? i was wondering whether it was the actual price... or did those kids purposely jerk up the price so they could earn extra cash... i know saying all these now wont haf any gd... i just wanna vent my anger out here... hai~

Christian names

was tinking abt my christian name... tink i've changed 3 times already haha... both my sis n bro haf their 1st christian names n are still using it now... my sis is Adeline n my bro is Jackson or Jack for short... could still remember when i was young... my family help named me my 1st christian name... i could remember clearly cus i still haf a photo of my past when i was having my bday as a kid... they used styroform to cut out the words n stick them onto the wall... saying: "Happy Birthday Johnson"

yup my 1st christian name was johnson, dont know y they named me tat... maybe becus my bro's start wif "J" so mine should follow... but i always thgt tat johnson rhymes with rongsheng hahaha :P anyway i didnt even used it when i was in primary sch... was deciding to use it in sec sch but then i got a frend oso known as johnson in my class, so i decided not 2 haf a christian name at all... it would be confusing... n i couldnt tink of a new one at tat time... so everyone called me by my name or surname or nickname hahaha which i hate (somemore it's given by my best frend hwangming back then) :P

so after 4yrs, we all graduate from sec sch... i forgot when it was already but if not wrong i tink it was rudy, ming n me n maybe someone else... we went to bedok library to look for a bk on christian names hahaha... cus we all wanted to haf one n change one if we already had one... so we borrowed a book... i found a name in tat book... was rather quick in doing tat cus i just looked into the "J" section... so i found my 2nd christian name: Jerome... but yet i still didnt use it... hahaha y? cus almost everyone would pronounce it wrongly... they would said Je-Ro-Me instead of Je-Rome... so y would i use a name tat might make others pronounce it wrongly hehe :P

again i went throughout my years without a christian name... untill early tis year when i am in airforce CAB/AMS... dont even know who gave me tat name... but just one day when i look at the duty roster i cant find my name... cus they added a christian name in my name: Donald... maybe cus my surname's Quek, n ducks like the donald duck "quack"... so tat's how i got my current christian name Donald... tink would be using it from now on... but my frendz still call me by my name or surname which i'm absolutely fine abt it... untill i'm sick of the new christian name, then i might tink of going back to using "Johnson" hahaha cus i still tink it rhymes :P

man i had the weirdest dream sia... it consists of 3 parts somemore... the 1st part was tat i travelled back in time... those dynasty time, sometingy similar to the movie "The Myth" haha... i was there with some ppl who i nv knew in my life, how come the ppl in my dreamz r all strangers? weird man... anyway, we were there... like a group of ppl who could predict the future n even alter it, change it so tat gd ppl dont die... n as usual there is another person with same ability working with the 'bad guys'... cant really remember wat happened in the end becus it's like i just skip into the next part of the dream without even knowing it haha...

now the 2nd part puts me at a kind of concert or sometingy... i was in the audience with a group of friends, tis time one of them was a friend i knew tis yr when i did NDP, i remembered him only cus he was the 1 in my dream tat got scolded hahaha... anyway there was tis group singing on stage, each having one instruments... they aren't playing anytingy at all... just looking back at us... n the friend of mine was toking all the while with another guy, ignoring the band... then all of a sudden one of the singer just yelled at him n asked him to shut the F*** up... hahaha then they started playing n we were silent... ohh yah tat band in my dream, dont even know who they r, but they did look like a band for those funeral functions... is tis a gd dream or bad one?

and the last part... it took place right here man, at bedok... just outside bedok interchange, n it involves my mom... she was going somewhere n was waiting for my outside the interchange near the mosque, i was taking a bus to meet her, n the weird part was i had a car, n i put the car into the bus... which was impossible in life sia... its like a high-tech dream haha or a transformer kinda dream even... anyway the car was in the bus, but where i hide it i'm not sure maybe its under the bus, so the bus drove out n i could see mom from far, standing just outside the mosque waiting for me, i press the bell for the bus to stop but it didnt... ever had those times when u press the bell in the bus n it forgot to stop... it really happened to me in real life once but tat was a long time ago n i cant remember which bus i took... so in tis dream, the bus didnt stop it just drove pass the stop n my mom n it just when straight onto PIE haha wat bus am i taking man... then it came to a point when the rear door opened at a traffic jam, so i got off n wanted to retrieve my car n go back fetch my mom... but when i got off... the bus drove off n there was like a path for it to move in the middle of all the jam, cus even its bus lane was jam packed, i just didnt know how tat path appeared... so i was worried n gave chase, i was tinking the bus stop should be near by n i was rite... hoping to reach the bus stop in time i ran like hell... could see the bus slowing down for the bus stop n i was relieved, but just as i was abt to reach it the bus drove off, it didnt stop at the bus stop cus there was no one alighting n no one boarding at tat particular stop... i was on the verge of crying while chasing after the bus cus if i cant catch the bus then i couldn't get my car n go back to fetch my mom... hehe but then y in the 1st place i didnt drive to fetch her? hmm i wonder hahaha maybe cus i didnt haf a licence yet, even in my dream :P... just as i was abt to scream at the bus i woke up from the dream... i even jumped out of bed just like i was running n chasing the bus hahaha...

haha wat a stupid n blur dream... 3 parts` somemore... haha

new background song

tis is a song for xxxxxx... but the cd didnt reach it's destination... still in my drawer... wanted to give it last time... but pulled myself back... anyway the song kinda sum up wat i wanted 2 say to her... wonder if she would ever hear tis... hai~

thgt rudy wanted to move house 2day... was waiting for his call ytd n 2day... still no news from him... maybe he's moving 2molo... or maybe he already moved without us helping... just gotta wait n see if he calls... but he did ask me for help... wondered why no confirmation from him... hmmm???

anyway kenny came 2day n we played winning eleven 9 at my place... damn lost to him few times... haha thgt i could win him... but hey... u win some u lose some hehe... somemore the new winning eleven 9 kinda hard 2 play... all the moves n shooting skill abit diff... harder to score... n we played nba2005 oso... sian~ lose to him in real life then now in game oso lose out in nba haha... i really suck at basketball... thgt i still ok with it... but hai~ i'm rather bad at it :P still... i will continue to play it... cus i suck more at soccer... hahaha at least my hands work better than my feet :P

did some dusting on my desk 2day... really beri dusty loh... but after tat i tink i breathe in some dust... now having runny nose... really feeling sick loh... like half of my energy is drained out... n further more this runny nose cant stop... n the 'fluid' is really watery loh... it would just drip down all of a sudden... cant even react fast enough... used up quite alot of tissues already... hope it would get better 2molo...

maybe it's oso becus of lack of sleep tat i'm falling sick... cus ytd i stayed up whole nite watching 2 dvds... till this morning 5am plus... did sleep afterwards... n woke up at 1pm this afternoon hahaha :P wanted to continue watch somemore dvds... but tink gotta rest liaoz... if not 2molo worst... scare later fever then beri sian liaoz :P

hai~ it's always these moments when i start thinking again... how nice it would be if there's someone to care abt me when i fall sick... hmm... wonder if that would ever happen on me... trying not to think too much nowadays... cus i myself cant even find a perfect solution to the problem... a part of me wanna be with her... the other part kept telling me it's better off not to bother her... cus wat i am now is not worthy to be with her... but still... hai~

then somemore it seems like it's back to the past... chatting online one question just one simple answer... notingy more... maybe its me tinking too much... or she's trying to avoid conversation... so i didnt try to make any either... or maybe she's too tired n busy with work n study... but a simple 'Hi' would be sufficient to brighten up my day...

should just try not to tink too much... :P

changed background song of my blog

i over heard this song on the tv... when they were showing making of jay zhou's "wu yu lun bi" concert... he was singing this song with landy, a beri sentimental song... was immediately attracted to it when i 1st heard it... listen to the words... :P

Sis came home 2day... brought back some snacks... this is a Loacker Mini chocolate wafer... smaller than my palm woo hehe :P then she n mom oso made soon kuay... hehe they kinda failed cus it's their 1st try :P but i tink it's still quite ok... only the skin abit thicker than it should have been... mom oso cooked mee goreng 2day... long time nv eat liaoz... normally only chinese new year then she would cook... cus it's too much work to cook mee goreng liaoz... lor mee oso beri hard to prepare... but the results of both mee r great... :P should learn how 2 cook then next time can cook for tat special one :P haha

bro n sis-in-law oso came home tis afternoon... for mom's mee goreng :P he told me he just bought a new car... n would arrive next weekend... he bought a lancer... again haha this time it's white color... then said he wanted 2 give me a watch too... althgh i nv wear one... he still insist of giving it to me... cus he just bought a new watch too haha so he got too much watch liaoz... decided to give me one... actually i wanted to get a watch... but i need those tat have stopwatches in them... not those analog ones... cus i wanna use it to clock my running... anyway now he's giving me one analog watch... tink it's a tag heuer... maybe i'll keep it 1st... till i start working or go out then wear... still in NS i dont wanna watch such an expensive watch... he said maybe he would give it to me 2molo cus i doing PM shift 2molo... changed shift wif paw on mon n tues... then back 2 hq on wed till fri... maybe try 2 do some clearance 1st...

Finally bought Fish Leong's new album: "si lu - tong wang ai de lu tu" comes with 2006 calendar

had been a listening ear to some of my frenz past few years... tried to helped out whenever i could... but mostly could just advice them... sometimes i just wish someone could give me advices... tok to me... listen to me... console me... i'm having such a headache keeping my feelings inside me... there's nowhere i could express them...

just feel like crying... hope all the hurt, saddness n pain would just go away :'(

just finish my last duty in the airfield at CABeast... from next week onwards i'll be going back to HQ at CABwest to start clearing my leave n off :P yeah... ORDing soon liaoz... somemore on x'mas eve hehe :P just in time to celebrate together with x'mas :P

but going back HQ would be beri sian... now need to wear no.3 to work, cant wear PT kit anymore unless got ippt or sqn run for the day... so sian... then some ppl in HQ oso beri hard to work with... always creating troubles for ppl... making life hard for everyone... hai~ cant there just be peace? :P

but i wont bother abt it too much liaoz cus i'm leaving soon :P anyway next time when i go out work would probably meet the same kind of situation... jut gotta try to avoid unnecessary conflicts with ppl at work... would make my life easier :P

hai~ just hope i would be able to find a job after i ORD... gotta start looking for one rite now... n gotta start writing my resume n such... 'Ti Gong Bo Bi' i can find a jobby :P hehe

really gonna miss those happy n unforgetable moments working in the runway... in the airfield section of CAB Airfield Maintenance Squadron... hahahaha who am i kidding... i'm more happy to ORD n start working :P

A Recurring Dream~

Nowadays i had been having this strange dream... everytime i had it, it's the same... but with different scenarios... like one episode after another... i had no idea why i'm having this kinda dreamz man... maybe too much violent movies like final destination 1 n 2 :P

It goes like this

I was on a highway flyover... then suddenly this car came straight at me... trying to kill me, purposely... but everytime i managed to escape death... then last nite it was abit different... with more characters in my dream... but none i knew... this time i was still on the highway flyover... but the car was rushing to me from behind... i was knocked off the road n crashed... i got out n tried to give chase... but it came back for me... somehow i got into a car from out of nowhere n we went head on... we didnt die... suddenly i was top of a truck with someone... like he was my sidekick or sometingy... then the mysterious car was chasing behind... ramming the truck... we tried to hang on but the guy i was with fell n i held on to him... the rest cant really recall back... but then i woke up...

kinda weird having this dream... n i felt dizzy when i woke up after the dream this morning... wonder if i would have it again... cus till now i still not sure y a car was trying to kill me in my dream...

Forgetful~

last nite airfield close late... abt 9pm plus then it close... so we did the normal paper work n packing up... n called for taxi as usual... i remembered i took out my wallet n hp cus i was taking a piece of note out of my wallet n wanting to call taxi using my hp cus the chance of getting a taxi using hp is higher than normal desktop phones...

it was really fast last nite... we got a taxi straight away when we called... so we kinda rush abit... cus we still gotta drive out to the guard house which would take abt 5mins plus... only when we got onto the taxi then i realised tat my wallet n hp wasn't in my pocket... not even in my bag... i tink i forgotten to put it back when i took it out when making the call for the taxi... hai~ why so forgetful sia... maybe too tired liaoz... maybe just plain forgetful :P

but lucky 2day weixiang doing AM shift... so i asked him help me take my tingys home... then when he come back from work i could get it from him... cus we live near each other... so i cant go anywhere 2day cant buy anytingy...

i feel so empty... so lonely... so sad... not happy at all...

money money money

money is so important in life... u really can't live without it... i'm saying this partly cus' i'm running low on cash again... can't blame them on my bills... cus' they've been the same for all these years... maybe blame myself for not passing my ippt n not getting my 3SG rank n pay... now i'm only getting abt $440 per month... got lots of friends' bday falls in September... but only celebrating 2 of them... one just past a week ago... the next one is on 3rd of Oct... i counted it as a bday in Sept cus' i'm using my Sept pay for it :P it was to be enough for me to last till then... but now it doesn't seem to be...

gonna be doing some nite duties which means midnite taxi fares... which also equals to more cash lost... althgh i do get back the taxi fares by claiming them at the end of each month... but the money takes a week to process... by then it would have pass Oct 3... which leaves me kinda short on cash for tat day... i might just make it if i were to delay paying back wat i owe junchao... cus of the NDP rehearsals last time... maybe this is the only way for now... but i also gotta watch wat i spent on now... only spend on necessary items...

like when ming n rudy ask me out on a sat midnite movie ytd... i turned them down... considering the cost of 1 movie ticket n the aftermath taxi fare... ming offered to treat me but i declined... no other reasons... just i don't like to borrow or use a friend's money unless it's a real must... sorry man for turning u guys down... u gotta understand otherwise i have got nothingy much to say either...

only have $100 left for me this month... for next week's nite duties (hope not much nite flying next week)... n weihe's bday... haven't even buy his present yet n not sure how much gonna spend on tat day... if really not enough then really gotta delay paying back junchao liaoz... then i might have another $70 to spare...

i really got poor money management... see, no money = headache + no fun + might even have misunderstandings with frenz... hai~

2 GV movie ticket vouchers

my sis gave me these 2 ticket vouchers months ago... she got it from her company... gave them to me cus she got extras... just 2 of them she gave it to me... thgt they might come in handy... but now it might stay in my drawer for a longer time then i expected... wont have the chance to use them for some time... well, their expiry date is in Aug 2006 still got abt less than a year to use them up... wonder will i ever have the chance to use them both at one time... know wat i mean?......... else i have just gotta give them back to sis... hehe......

Tan Zhi Keng(Vern)'s Funeral

just came back from Vern's funeral at sembawang close... its the 1st time i see my own frend laying inside a coffin... feels kinda weird n sad... having a frend just past away like tat... heard from his brother... he died in pain... well at least he's resting in peace now... also got to know tat the medical expenses were really beri high... over thousands of dollars per weeks... as it says: it's better to die than to fall sick.

went there wif ee, yong n dan... the rest would be going there themselves... i didnt dare to tok much wif vern's brother... cause i scared would say the wrong tingys :P hai~ there goes a frend... wonder when it would be my turn to go...

Bad News

just got a bad news from Ee CS, my bmtc platoon mate / afs classmate... our section mate Vern had just past away 2day... suffering from leukaemia... we would be attending his funeral 2molo at sembang close... it feels so awkward knowing a frend just past away... went thgrh so much during bmt... who would know tat a slightly obese yet healthy n fit guy would die just like tat... its kinda scary since its the 7th month... n a guy wif a long future ahead of him just died like tat... leaving his family n frenz behind... i dont know wat to say either... i just feel kinda sad abit it...

its been more than a week since i last blogged... cus notingy in particular had happened throughout the entire week... only some problems at work... it wouldnt had been of tat a big deal untill the management stepped in... hai~ dont wanna go into the details... 2 words would sum everytingy up... Stupid Management!!

watched War of The Worlds few days ago... knew it was abt aliens... kinda science fiction tingy... but after watching it... i felt tat i would rather rate it as a thriller/suspence or even a horror movie :P not tat i dont liked it... i like the movie... but it kinda scares me after watching it... dont know y either... i just felt wat if sometingy like its the end of the world... can we really do sometingy abt it like wat Tom Cruise did in tat movie? also the thgt of losing those tat i love... those who r close to me... it just kinda freaks me out... i would be lost if someone i love pass away... *touch wood*

i watched tat movie after 1am cus i was working PM shift tis whole week... i couldnt put myself to sleep after the show... tink i slept at nearly 5am...

kinda bored now... since ndp is over... now all my saturdays r just boring weekends or duty at CABeast... back to square one again hahaha :P kinda miss those days when we had ndp rehearsals... at least there's sometingy to do rather than staying at home... i could go out... but not much places for me to go... since i hate crowded places... especially orchard road... i have my reasons for hating it... plus... i still gotta watch wat i spend... i feel like i'm gonna have a financial crisis again... hai~

sian... 2molo still gotta go CABeast to work... cant rest or swim or play bball liaoz... gotta wake up early n take taxi to work again... hai~ but its ok... only abt 3months more to go till i ORD hahaha... tat is only after i minus all the leave n time offs i could take haha but 3months fly pass just like tat... beri fast n i would be out there in the world looking for a job... working to survive n support a family just like every other person here in singapore...

expired orange&chamomile streps pic3

expired orange&chamomile streps pic2

expired orange&chamomile streps pic1

I'm sick... on NDP...

my temp. after came home from NDP

ytd was feeling kinda sick already... was having soar throat n coughing... slight body ache... took 1 panadol b4 i went to slp... cus 2day is NDP... if i dont get better... i would haf a hard time working there...

but the medicine was of no use... maybe not strong enough... tis morning i wake up... body really aching loh... feet touch the ground oso abit pain pain... but still gotta go 4 NDP... cus if not there then the ration support wont haf enough man power... so 2 make my throat feel better i bought the small packet orange strepsils n a pack of orange+chamomile streps... but i was shocked to find out tat the pack of streps had past its best before date... which was on 2nd aug 05... i was stunted... i even shared it wif some frenz b4 realising it was expired... but notingy bad happened 2 us... lucky nv kana food poisoning.. if not i sure feel guilty... i wanted to tell the shop owner after NDP... but figured it would be too late... so dropped the idea... so next time anyone of u guys n gals buy any tingys... remember to look at their expiry date b4 purchase...

anyway... i continue to cough after taking all the orange strepsils in the other small packet... worst was... it started to rain again when the contingents were coming in... luckily it wasnt as big as last time... but i did get caught in the rain... wif some other frenz... while pushing ration... maybe it made my sickness worst...

then i started coughing some more... had no mood for the NDP sia...didnt even really eat for the whole day... only had red-bean bun for lunch n 3 nuggets n whipped potato for dinner... i even threw away the 2 piece kfc chicken... sorry man but i really no mood to eat... but i did went onto the padang wif some frenz to watch the marching n airplanes fly pass... it was nice... but we left when the armor vehicles started to roll in...

luckily we were given 3 days off-in-lieu... so i could rest at home 2molo... but falling sick on my day off.. not worth it man... but i already applied the off wif encik chow liaoz... so dont wanna trouble him anymore...

then while going back... had to stand in the mrt all the way back to bedok.. well i expected tat... but i was really really tired n sick then... legs were aching... but still manage to stand till bedok... then quickily walked to 7-11 to buy some drinks n panadol... cus i was really thirsty n lips were kinda dry too...

then waited to 225(green plate) to go home... cus white plate already stop ferrying after 12midnite... was really really tired loh... legs damn pain... finally got home... was so tired tat i didnt even reply my mom when she talked to me... sorry mom... n happy belated bday... really gotta go rest liaoz... i wanna get better by 2molo...

how i wish someone would be by my side taking care of me now... but tis would nv happen to me... would it? hai~

too much ndp? haha...

man... i tink i do too much ndp stuffs already lah... everyweek at least twice... fatigue work then rehearsals... now even in my dream i oso dreamt abt ndp... haha :P but the dream kinda short lah... only remembered abit... i was walking through the parade ground... pass the centre stage... looking at ppl rehearsing hahaha :P hai~ must relac abit lah...

then woke up tis morning feeling really tired... but gotta go swim wif rudy at TP at 9am... n was too tired... untill i reached bedok interchange then realised i forgotten to bring my goggles... :( sian man... ended up i swam without 1 n my eyes were kinda dry after 30mins dip in the pool... but tis time swam less than 30mins... cus cant really see n concentrate without goggles hehe :P

after tat we went down to bugis temple to pray... cus rudy said his exams/interview coming up... n i realised one tingy... y i shouldnt eat fastfood... not only becus it is kinda fattening... oso becus of it's price... rather expensive especially BK meals... althgh it might make u feel full... but i would rather go 4 a $2 chicken rice or $3 noodles... which whould be enough to make me full too... hahaha but once in awhile eat fast food is ok i guess... must reward oneself once in awhile mah :P

later we went back tampines... rudy went photocopy some notes... i went there to look for strings at the spotlight... but once again... spotlight closed down... it changed into gain city... y is it tat those tingys i wanted to look for would no longer be there... it's like trying to hint me sometingy or wat... trying to tell me to do watever i wanted to do fast b4 its too late or sometingy... haha or i'm just too superstitious :P

hai~ then went to popular n other gifts n cards shop in TM n CS... but still cant find any strings... all they got was just ribbons... maybe i could only use ribbons 4 a substitute... but it must be those small ribbons...

anyway... we went back to bedok after tat to search again... but wasnt able to find any... so just went home from there... cus we were kinda tired already... n later i still gotta go out wif my family for dinner... to celebrate my mom's bday in advance... cus her bday is exactly on NDP... n i gotta help out at NDP on tat day... so cant celebrate wif her tat day.... so we decided to bring the dinner forward to 2day... tink we would be going down to interchange for the dinner... exact location still unknown to me :P

so i gotta go rest liaoz... hahaha :P

where all the bookstores go?

tis morning went to CABwest to take ippt... n as uaual i fail again hahaha :P then after tat went to tampines central, cus i took off for the rest of the 2day... wanted to go there find some color pens n design paper... but too early liaoz all the bkstores in TM n CS not yet open... only those small bkstores near S11 were opened... so bought some pens from there 1st... then came back to bedok by no.18 bus... went to the bkstore near blk512 but its gone... its changed into a shop tat sells flowers...

then went to the 1 beside sing seong supermarket... tat 1 oso gone... now dont know changed into wat... only saw a few batminton rackets n bball hanged on the window... had a peep inside... the shop was empty... maybe still building up bah...

y all the bkstores i know in bedok all closed down already... then not even a popular in bedok... hai~ but nvm... will carry on searching for the color paper 2 complete my 'mission' :P hahahaha

NDP Preview Show...

as usual... went down to marina promenade for ndp... 2day's the preview show... but before the contingents were here... it started raining... beri beri heavy loh... until all the tentage were blown away... yah most were lifted off the ground and it even broke some trees and lamp posts along the pathway... too bad i dont haf camera if not i sure take down those incredible images... :P

but all tentages were destroyed... except the command post so some of the contingents were shifted to our tentage... and we had a hard time pushing the ration to them... cus lots of them were blocking the way... and unfortunately... i got a cut from the cage used to push the rations... how careless :P hehe


a scratch-wound from this afternoon's NDP Preview...

in the evening... after the contingents all came back from the preview show... we did some packing up n took some goodies home :P got whitening cream from nivea, n want want's bubble drink... i took 2 cartons of the drinks home... it was super heavy loh... so went to 7-11 to take plastic bags from them... hehehe but still it's beri heavy... then actually erik and me wanted to play pool in marina square... but both of us were short of cash... and
the nearest atm machine was said to be at millenium walk... so we decided not to play and went home... but becus of the ndp... the roads were closed.... and we gotta walk all the way to raffles place through the citylink... and took bus nearby the area... cus the mrt was too crowded...

so i took bus no.14 home... it was a looonngg~ journey back... and i finally reached home at 11pm... 2day beri the tired loh... especially after carrying back 2 cartons of drinks... hahaha :P

hehe took tis online test on the keys to my heart... n here r my results :P

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

ytd sat... went to marina promenade 4 the last NDP Rehearsal... lucky sia... tis time the lunch n dinner not kfc or pizza... if not i can 4get abt losing anymore weight liaoz... hahaha :P anyway... after giving out the dinner we went down to padang 2 see of how the parade performance was like... n oso to view the fire works from a better angle hehe :P the performance was ok lah... but the contingents sure could do better than tat... after so many performances... the wheeling is still kinda off standard leh hehe :P but i no right to criticize them lah cus i not marching :P

then i tink only the ppl at the grand stand could see clearly wat the performers were doing... cus all the other stands so high up n quite far away from the stage... can hardly see who was down there performing... can only rely on the overhead projection tv to see wats going on on stage... wah but the fire works really beri the nice loh... too bad i no camera... if not sure take down all the beautiful fire works... :P

then again... after tat erik, low n me went to marina square again for a game of pool haha... so end up going home at 10 pm plus...

hehe then tis morning went swimming wif rudy at TP... wah lao 2day was the 1st time i swam non-stop for 30mins... althgh swam quite slow... but tink almost got 10 laps bah?... hehe if not the less than 10 loh :P but really swam quite alot 2day... but then the gals water polo team got training... so no choice we gotta end the swim early... those gals looked really young sia... like still in sec sch... if not then yr1 students bah... looked so young loh...

after tat we went to tampines central for breakfast n walked abt in the area... long time nv go TM n CS liaoz... got so many new shops liaoz loh... we walked 4 awhile only lah then went home liaoz... oso kinda tired...

then just now went for supper at blk 85 wif some frenz... but only drink sugar cane n abit of "wu xiang"... cus kinda full... my dinner not yet disgested properly hahaha :P lucky 2molo no need to go back base... cus i applied off from encik chow :P k lah stop here 4 2day... gotta go play online monopoly liaoz hahaha :P

Diet: it makes u lose or gain weight?

i was shocked tis afternoon when i came back from camp... i thgt the recent exercises n controlling of my food intakes should make me lose some weight... i played in the inter-unit bball tournament then took ippt the next morning n after tat played batminton wif some frenz... kinda tiring... but was kinda happy cus i doing exercises n hoping to lose some weight... even started dieting on thurs nite... didnt eat rice for dinner... but mom bought hokkien mee for me... but i still ate only part of it... leaving like 20% of it in the box n threw it away...

then on fri i didnt even touch rice... ate only 2 pieces of cake after the game of batminton... n tats like all 4 the day... took yogurt for my dinner... drank some fruit juice drinks throughout the day... but on sat... due to NDP Rehearsal... we were given kfc for both lunch n dinner... i could haf chosen not to eat... but i didnt wanna faint... so ate for both lunch n dinner... wanted to take more than one serving but i was determined not to cus i really wanna lose weight... so i could only see my frenz ate their 2nd servings of kfc... i didnt mind at all... i was rather glad i didnt ate anymore than wat i should haf...

then sunday... ate noodles for breakfast n mom cooked dinner... i skipped lunch cus i was at home whole day... not much exercise so i dont wanna intake too much... i didnt take rice again... but mom cooked all fried food... i only took a small amount of it... n a bowl of pig-intestines soup... i considered all these tat i've eaten to be less than the amount i used to take in... no rice to days... n not 'cleaning up the plate' (finishing all the food on my plate)...

but still... i went on the weighing scale tis afternoon... i put on 2 more kgs... i tink if i didnt go on such a diet... i wouldnt haf put on extra weight... i'm so lost now... there maybe sometingy wrong wif my diet plan... but wats the use of going on a diet when it makes me fatter?...

i dont feel like losing anymore weight... going on anymore diets... u can say tat i dont haf determination or watever... or as chinese says: 'san fen zhong re du'... or maybe i would go for other alternaltives on losing weight... but for now i going to stop... wat i doing is not working...

i'm so demoralised now :(

Tiring leh~

ytd played in the inter-unit basketball tournament held at Changi Naval Base... haha as expected... we lost in the 1st game, again! but at least slightly better than last time... we made lots of mistakes n miss shots... hai~ if wanna win sometingy... ams gotta train more :P

then back home... was toking to cher on msn... n till 2day i still wondering how come i would accept the bet with him to lose weight n pass my ippt by this yr... for him he gotta do 20 chin-ups by this yr... cus he's injuried now so would be kinda hard for him too... but i am going to try anyway... really really must lose some weight... so i told me mom not to cook any meals for me from now on :P haha if i wanna eat i cook myself... but i tink i stick to fruits n yogurt n bread for now... if really cant stand it then maybe eat boiled meat loh :P

then this morning went back to CABwest for ippt... haha i didnt expect base commander to be taking ippt too... kinda shock when i saw him in the hangar... he ran quite fast loh for the 2.4km...i tink he came in 1st but just dont know his timing... n as usual... i failed again :P then after tat lucky teobk came to look for me n gave me a lift out of base... cus i took time-off 2day... hahaha

i didnt go home from there... i went to tampines mall trying to buy the grip for the batminton rachet... cus i was going to toa payoh to play wif ding n erik, ndp frenz from als sqn...but all the shops havent even open yet... cus it was only 10am :P hahaha

so i took mrt to toa payoh n walked to the commuinty center... man they sure r good at batminton sia... i was like notingy compared to them haha :P i cant even handle some simple shots... n kept giving them high ball :P but we only played till 1pm cus only booked the court for 2hrs... then i went to take bus no.28 back home... haha but i missed the stop... was surposed to alight outside bedok interchange... but i over slept n went all the way to near bedok reservoir... lucky didnt end up at tampines again :P so i got down n took no.69 back to bedok... but i alighted half way n walked back :P went to buy some fruit juices n yogurt for dinner later hahaha :P

now kinda tired... legs oso rather aching... neck aching... n 2molo still gotta go NDP Rehearsal at marina promenade... no chance to go out wif frenz liaoz... but tink there is a sentosa outing tis sunday... gotta confirm wif james 2molo...

ok lah me go play game liaoz.. tat's all for 2day i tink :P

extremely exhausted~

2day went down to padang to load up n unload some drinks in n out of the container chiller... man... there were only 5 of us there doing all the loading n unloading... of 4 n a half pallets of new water... n lots of 'wang wang' bubble tea... plus sparkling H2O... man it was damn tiring loh... even though it was not much of a sunny day... there was even a huge patch of rain clouds... but the carrying of those drinks worn us out man... it was more tiring than doing ippt...

but luckily we got some help from the army guys there... helped us to do some forklifting of the new water pallets... if not we wont be able to finish loading the stock at 6pm...

then we took a rest n went down to Esplanade... went there to use the toilet muahaha :P cus all the mobile toilets were locked... then we walked thrgh the shops... there was tis chocolate shop... they use strawberries dipped into chocolates... they looked really nice... but rather expensive... maybe would go try it sometimes... when i'm more financially able... :P

after tat we proceed down to marina promenade to unload somemore drinks... n looked after them till 2300hrs... we went down to marina square to buy our dinner from the foodcourt... which is on the 4th floor... a rather nice environment there since it's just opened not long i tink :P n we went back to the promenade to eat... n look after the stuffs...

wao... there were really quite alot of couples down at the promenade... cus there weren't much lights on the path way... hehehe :P then finally the rest of the guys came at around 2300hrs... time for them to take over the watch n look after the drinks till next day for the NDP Rehearsal on sat...

time for me to sleep too... gotta haf a good rest... cus 2molo still gotta go down to marina promenade to help out... but tis time not at 7am... but we only need to go down there at 12noon... should be enough time for us to rest... :P

touching jap serial

i just cried...

not becus of any personnal matters... but becus of a japanese serial... "The Way I Live" or in chinese "我的生存之道"... it's a beri touching story... abt a guy who is diagnose wif stomache cancer... n less than a year to live... so he decides to make everyday count... not just tinking ahead into the future... but tinking abt rite now, the present day, wat happens 2day, cus he might not know when he would just die...

had been watching tis serial for the past few days... it's been the 7th episode if not wrong... but wat made me cried 2day was tat... he broke up wif his gf... but she dont mind being wif him even if he is sick... yet he wanted the break up... but the gal was persistent... when the guy went back to his hometown to visit his mom... the gal followed... n his mom mistaken her as his fiancee (cus they already broke up)... the guy wanted to break the news of his cancer to his mom... but wasnt able to...

when they got back to the city... the guy was enlightened by his colleague... tat if he was the one who had the stomache cancer... he would not break up wif his gf... so... tat guy when to propose to his gf... n she accepted it... n tat guy called home to his mom to tell her the gal had agreed to marry him... n oso to tell her he has got stomache cancer... the moment he broke the news to his mom... i cried...

i was tinking wat if someone close to me were to leave me... i dont want tat to happen... who would?... then it oso enlightened me abit... one should make full use of his time in a day... n not waiting or putting any matter till the next day to settle... tis way we wouldnt regret doing anytingy tat we wanted to but had no time for it... cus we might not know wat would happen 2molo...

then a song came into my mind... Jay Zhou's "Kai Bu Liao Kou"...

Reboot, Restart, Reformat...

if ur pc hangs, u can reboot or restart it... if it kana virus or some errors that cant be fixed, u can reformat ur pc... but risks losing all ur important informations... how i wish i could restart my life... or reformat my memories, risks losing all my memories of my frenz, those joyful moments n yes, those unhappy/sad times...

so sad... so low... so depressing... like infected wif a virus... cant clean away those saddness... cant wipe away those pain...

either i get an "antivirus" to clean away all my sorrows... or "reformat/restart" my life...

i cant help it... everytingy in my life is making me more pessimistic... i wanna change... i wanna get up... but every single tingy is pushing me down...

I envy them so much...

when i was at padang helping out at the water storage container... the GOH contingents were just opposite us on the road resting... n the police GOH were just rite infront... n i saw tat 'li jiawei' lookalike again haha :P she was sitting on those concrete bench wif one of her colleagues... a guy to be exact... i presumed they r more then just frenz lah... i envy tat guy... so lucky to find a gal tat likes him... n envy her too... to be in love...

but sometimes i hate it so much to see couples on the streets... so much in love... i hate them cus it hurts me... hurts me to see tat everyone has somebody to love but me...

yet i would envy them... knowing tat they r in love... beri contradicting rite? i oso dont know wat i was tinking abt... tat was wat i thgt when i saw her in at the resting point... wif tat guy...

maybe i just feel tat... y is it so hard for a gal 2 love me... so hard... like its impossible... it wont happen... it hurts alot loh tinking abt it... just feel like crying whenever i tink abt love n such tingys... hai~ :'(

NDP Rehearsal at Padang

when to marina promenade at 7.30am for ndp rehearsal 2day... cus the water points n ration points r located there... its a long stretch along the promenade n its cramp up by the participants once they arrived there... it was hard to bring water to the designated points becus of the crowd... we oso went to padang to assist the water points at the form-up area... helped them to deliver 'new water' the the points... then went back to mainra promenade to help out ration n water points there... it might sound simple... but the distance we gotta travel wif those heavy bottles n containers... it was tiring loh...

some more its so difficult to 'serve' those marching contingent... always expect us to provide them wif water wherever they r... pls loh... there r water located at the resting/form-up area for them to drink... yet they come n ask from us at our storage container... ok loh no choice so we gave them drinks... but not enough cus the rest r at the form-up area... then is like they blaming us for not having enough water for them... arhh~

then 2day they like did the entire rehearsal loh... even got chinooks, F5, F16, KC135, C130, Fooker 50 n super puma if not wrong for the fly-over... tink they did some performances at the padang too... but we were at the marina promenade so we cant tell wat was going on there... althgt the rehearsal ended like 6-7pm... we just sat down n wait... n wait... not sure for wat... then it was like 9pm plus then we started clearing the place at marina promenade... it was a beri tiring day sia~ work for like 13+ hrs loh... now legs n arms all aching liaoz... hai~ next sat still got the same tingy... die liaoz lah... :P

New layout woo~ hehe :P

changed my blog layout again... hehe :P cus me wanna to start afresh hehehe :) just hope everytingy would go better from now on...

btw... i would never give up... never surrender... hahaha... when there's a will, there's a way... :)

sunday duty~

went to work tis morning wif teo bk... he took a taxi down 2 bedok n we went CABeast together... cus he say his car not ready yet... then reached there he forgot 2 bring base pass... end up gotta change a pass... n bruce oso forgot 2 bring his pass n gotta change too... hahaha...

then i was surprised to see the sat crew still in base... cus they said ytd airfield standby whole nite... so cant go back... then tis morning then go home... they look damn tired sia...

i knew today we gonna do mthly svc on the southern hookwire... actually me was mentally prepared 2 be tired... but then end up was more tiring then i expected... maybe cus i long time nv do servicing liaoz... or maybe too long not in airfield liaoz... cus keep going back hq 2 clock OJT n take ippt... sian~ plus 2day's weather beri hot... cant stand it man.. n i had only abit of water b4 going out 4 servicing...

so today really really tired loh... lucky 2molo got to go off... if not sure cant make it 1... hope i cant apply off on wed n fri... i still got lots of time-off for NDP yet 2 claim... i need a rest man...

2day i went to the eForum in mindef intranet website... n went to the relationships forum... read some of the treads... n found some sentences really meaningful...

"If that gal like u, then she can also act as a sort of motivation for u to strive harder mah"
"Be confident of urself mah"
"Haven't even start u already doubt urself in giving her happiness"

It's really meaningful isn't it? hehe... n it sort of inspired me to write down some stuffs... n i'll try to tink more +ve day by day... try not to doubt myself anymore... i really like to give HER happiness...

Fri + Sat happening~

Firstly it was Friday... we had a game of winning eleven 8 in the crewroom rite after lunch... ee win jh... but i win ee in an extra time match last min goal in the 2nd half hahaha... but ee said he was distracted cus encik manjit came into the room... but anyway i still won hahaha... later we had a ceremony in the evening abt 3pm... our sqn + S4 branch were issued wif a air logistics brevet... for got wat it's for liaoz haha but anyway... tat badge is so ugly loh... kinda heavy too to pin on the no.3 uniform all the time...

then after tat we proceeded to the spec mass for refreshment + tok cock... n i asked mdm tan if i was really promoted to corporal... but she said no... cus the R.O. haben publish yet... tat stupid 'nono' keep telling me i promoted already as stated in the email... F him lah...

after tat some of us went down to TM seoul garden for dinner... it was the biggest cab/ams informal gathering ever... hahaha total of 25+1 went down... tat plus 1 is alvin... cus he came after we all finished eating hahaha... we had tis dinner for ah kan n ee n colin's ord... but colin gotta do duty so he cant make it... but he made it for the 2nd half... KTV at loyang point... out of the 26 ppl from dinner... tink only 9 went for the KTV... we didnt went to Kbox cus tink its too expensive... so went down to loyang point instead... then end up i reached home almost 2am in the morning...

so i only slept for 6hrs n woke up at 8pm on SAT for my NDP Rehearsal... hai~ another weekend burnt... cus i'm doing duty at CABeast on SUN again... somemore gotta do servicing under the hot sun :( isn't the fatigue work at NDP enough? still gotta do duty hai~ but i dont mind going 2 CABeast.... hehehe...

i had my late breakfast in Nee Soon Camp... chicken rice + egg + nuggets... then after tat... i had no mood for lunch n dinner in camp... cus i 'tink too much' again~ oso tink u guys tired to keep listening abt it... so i wont bored u guys to death in here :P

the rehearsal ended abt 7pm... but we gotta clear n clean up the place... n a short briefing... ended up leaving the place at 8.30pm... then proceeded to meet up wif ming, qq, wanyi, n dl... quite some time nv see dl already... but still pretty... hahaha... they went to tis 'ming ge chan ting' at millenium walk... so i went the to meet up wif them... the singers there had quite gd vocals... n gd at jokking around too :P too bad i cant sing tat well... if not i sure go there work hahaha :P but colin confirm can go there work... his voice damn power sia :P

then we shared taxi home... qq n I went in one... n ming, wanyi n dl in the other... lucky qq knew a taxi driver's contact n called for taxi... if not we would be stranded at marina square for dont know how many hrs :P then I oso kinda paiseh... gotta ask qq 2 help me pay the fare 1st... cus me no more $ wif me... but gonna treat her back to a meal or ktv watever :P hehe then can oso tank her for her listening ear in msn :P tanks alot :)

gotta go slp liaoz... if not 2molo no energy 2 work... :(

cute little white n black sheepy

Is the life of quek rongsheng so god damn miserable?

woke up late 2day... was supposed to wake up at 8am, which i did, but i continued to sleep... end up waking up at 9.15am... n was late for ndp rehearsal... cus must report at 11am... the trip to ang mo kio by bus then from there to nee soon camp would take abt 1 1/2 hrs... so was definitely late haha... but reach there they bearly started carrying the jerry cans... me n junchao even haf time 2 take our lunch there before starting work...

during the rehearsal, i started thinking again... abt relationships n such... thgt abt trying it again... with the one i love a decade ago... but might be harder... cus i'm currently extremely short on $$... cant do much if i wanna woo her... i thgt abt quite alot... felt like crying even... but didnt... didnt want anyone to see me like tat... somemore i'm in nee soon camp... so i wrote my feelings down...

"Love is something I long for.
Fate is something I don't have.
Reality is something that hurts."

ohh yah... n i saw latiff in the color party contingent in the ndp rehearsal... man i didnt know he signed on as guards... so many of our sec sch mates signed on... got police... got army... got frenz from poly signed on air force oso... haha so many ppl signed on...

anyway... the entire rehearsal ended at abt 7pm... n we packed/cleaned up the place till 7.30pm... then we were asked 2 stay back cus the management gotta walk through all the areas 2 ensure there wasn't any rubbish left behind... n they found some... so some of the ppl we scolded... but not us... then end up we left at abt 8.30pm

then after tat me n junchao went 2 vincent's bday dinner... actually me didnt wanna go... cus me no $$ to pay 4 the taxi fare there n no $$ 4 the dinner n his ang-pao present... but junchao said he help me pay 1st... just 1 me 2 join in for the gathering... i didnt wanna miss it too... but i just cant use his $ cus i still owe him the previous taxi fare... but still i went... not 2 disappoint him n vincent... i swear i will pay u back... as soon as i get my ns allowance...

we went to an Italian restaurant along east coast rd... the food there not bad... service quite gd oso... haha but the bill was kinda slow :P then after tat we went straight home... me, jianguang, junchao n vincent shared a taxi back... they drop me off at my place 1st then go back 2 tampines... hai~ too bad i not living in tampines any more

me reached home abt 10.30pm then quickly bath cus too tired n sticky liaoz... then online 2 write tis... n was chatting on msn while writing tis too :P can't believe i did 'it'... i sort of ask 'her' if she wanna watch movie wif me.... AAHHH! can't believe i did tat :P hehe but then was kinda rejected cus she watched the movie already... wif QQ~! hahahaha... so envy u loh... :P haha nvm... still got chance to watch wif her n the gang... mr n mrs smith... hahaha althgh was kinda rejected... but still felt alrite... cus no harm asking :P besides... already cried alot last time... hehe :P

hai~ gotta go zzz liaoz... write tis blog from 11plus till 1am haha... :P