time passes really fast woo... almost 2months into my RT le... later going for my 3rd last session... next monday 1 more, then wednesday the final rt-ippt test... then that's all for RT... so fast loh, n i still thought that it would be a suffering to go to RTs in the past... lol

somehow i enjoy going RT, not becus i crazy n wanna train to pass ippt :P but the fact is i wanna get away from work n rather go somewhere else even if it's RT... hate the work i do, hate my incompetent manager...

next friday company D&D at regent hotel... i on leave lol... but still gotta go down in the evening... cus sign up liao, if nv go must pay $80... think i go there sign attendance then leave... if hungry then eat abit then leave lol...

ohh yesh... my leg wounds r fully recovered liaoz... i can go swim n do watever already :P

刘汉强 - 对你的爱永不落幕

totally loved this song... but no matter how i search... just couldn't find it, be it online or in the stores... cus this song is like more than a decade ago... but still it's a beri beri nice song... if any of u guys out there happen to have this song pls send me can lol...

almost every weekend i would be having flu... it's either due to the amount of dust i had to breathe in while cleaning those dusty photocopiers at customer place, or i didn't hydrate myself with enough H2O...

and not sure y, but always when i'm sick, i tend to feel more emotional n more fragile... my entire mood will drop all the way to the bottom... cus everytime when i'm sick, i kept thinking how nice it would be to have someone beside me to take care of me, n be concerned abt me... that kinda feeling would be so wonderful, that's what it think...

but the more i think... the more depress i get... during today's RT we had to run across the width of the hockey pitch for 20mins... i just didn't think much n just ran, wanna try to block out any feelings by concentrating on running... seeing alot of ppl starting to walk... but i just kept on running... on the way home, waiting at the bus terminal... listening to songs, sad songs... i just felt like crying... i started thinking abt one particular thingy again... one that i had been trying to figure out for a month... i hate to admit it... but really, the problem lies in me... i didn't know what i was doing back then... i think that time i didn't think things thoroughly enough... n so ended up in this weird situation...

i regretted it...

for 25yrs, not a single relationship or a gf... failure, n worst is that now then i realise y this is so... cus i don't understand what is love, all those feelings that i thought was love, was actually not... n i don't know how to love, all the ways i thought that expresses love, was actually all the wrong ways...

i just don't know what is love, n i don't know how to love...

$20 richer

yeah... RS tio TOTO on monday... but only $20 hahaha :P at least got $ to take back loh... i think if not wrong this should be only the 2nd time i tio TOTO... but when will i tio group 1?? lol

yeah... my left foot recovering faster than i though it would... rested for 3 days without wearing covered shoes, then today gotta wear shoe to work, it didn't hurt anymore, but anyway i still put plasters on both toes to prevent any mishaps :P

came home n prepare for RT, removed plasters n gotta rush to RT... so didn't put on new plasters... at 1st thought it would hurt abit without 'protection'... but still it didn't hurt a bit... now i'm just waiting for the skin to grow back... then can go swimming... wanna try go swim after every RT, since the bus i taking would passby the swimming complex everytime... just need to check out the closing time of bedok swimming pool...

today RT quite tiring... partly my own fault lol... cus i extra, while in the gym, after some arms/legs training i went onto the treadmill for a run... then after gym, the PTI say we going for a 15mins run/slow jog... i was like HUH?? but i just ran... die~~ so i ran twice loh... but the 15mins i just did a slow jog loh... so tiring loh now... then 2moro still gotta walk n walk n walk whole day... so sian, now servicing machines in tanjong pagar area... everytime i need spare parts i gotta walk back to the store myself to get the part... cus the customer place r too close to fuji xerox tower liaoz... the delivery ppl don't deliver the parts within certain distances... soooo tiring!!!

林俊杰 - 突然累了

吃饭吃到睡了
我开车开到傻了
我看书看到你了
开始怀疑我怎么了
说话说到吐了
我写歌写到疯了
我爱你爱到盲了
天知道我又怎么了
不舍得舍不得都分手了
舍不得不舍得散了
爱是你的我是我的完了

原来我只是突然累了
原来我不说了
原来我撑着撑到麻了
原来我不爱了

-------------

就像这首歌一样，我觉得我只是突然累了。所有周围发生的事，我都没什么心情去理会它。就像是做什么或没做什么，最后还不是没有收获，没有意义。。。

so boring... so fast sat ending... sunday coming... n monday work again... n still left foot not healed yet... but at least its healing slowly... just hope on monday it won't hurt when i wear my shoe... n lucky 2day no RT due to Hari Raya... so can rest more :P

hai~ sian... recently no mood to do anythingy... watch tv sian, play game oso sian... just no mood to do anythingy... like everythingy no meaning liaoz... hai~

happy bday~ mr brian wang jiacong

lol

shit... i injured myself again!!! this time during work, while replacing a drum cart for a customer... opened the package to fast, the drum kinda slipped abit n the edge of the drum cart just slide pass my hand, n i could feel the skin being ripped off loh... when i look at it i was thinking "ohh shit", cus i could see the white flesh... i pressed on the side of the wound n blood came out... *faint* why do i keep injuring myself???

right knee almost completely healed... then left foot injured... today walked extremely slow to work n whilst working... now hand oso injured, but this 1 is a small wound lah still can work with it... but my left foot really can't tahan loh... it just doesn't seem to be able to heal itself loh...

hai~ finally applied all my leave... almost every friday i would be on leave, but some fridays i would still be working lah... cus i only got 8 days of leave for me to use this year... but then the thingy is... that useless manager of our district still haven't approve them yet... don't tell me u don't read ur emails everyday loh... by rite the leave approval should be sent to u already... cus i applied them on sunday... can't be the system so slow...

don't care... by thursday still haven't approve then i will inform him the very last minute... i already applied... if he don't wanna approve it oso must reject or let me know...

prone to injuries

i hate to admit it... but i'm starting to feel that fat ppl r kinda more prone to injuries... cus of the weight we r carrying on us...

2nd soccer session with jc n his frenz again at RI... played awhile as GK, then switched out to DLC, cus one of our players didnt bring shoe so could only play GK... so 2day really sweat alot lol... 1st time played, injured my right leg as i dive down to save the ball... so rested for 2weeks... then 2day played again... i don't know how n when, but mid way through i suddenly felt a sharp pain in my left feet, as if my socks had torn away n my foot was rubbing against the inside of my shoe... i still played on though, thinking that at most it would give me a couple of blisters...

after the game i took off my shoes, socks still intact... but just don't know how but 2 of my toes' top skin got rubbed away, leaving the flesh exposed... although it's just a small opening, not bigger than a 5cent coin on both toes... but it's still quite painful, yet no blood...

hai~ like everytime i play soccer will sure somehow injure a part of my body... maybe it's a sign to tell me to keep to just playing bball lol...

now it still hurts alot everytime i move the toes... then somemore 2moro after work got RT... don't know how i gonna exercise with my injured toes...

morale: very poor

just came back from my final session of my Phase 1 RT... took the ippt test, as usual, only pass my sit up... it's the only station i could perform extremely well... did abt 44 situps, a few no counts though...

the PTIs said if we dont feel like taking the 2.4km run, we don't have to run... cus they know some ppl after failing some static stations don't wanna waste time n energy to run, since the outcome is still fail... so i did just that... after doing the 4 statics i just return the no. tag n get my receipt...

the weird thingy is... i know i would nv pass... but somehow when i saw the word FAIL on the slip... i kinda felt demoralised... maybe cus i wanted to see abit of improvements after 7 sesions of RT... but still i didn't improve any... SBJ still 189cm, chin-up still 0, n shuttle run 10.9s... hai~ normally i won't feel anything abt failing ippt, but today is kinda a 1st for me to feel such a way...

or maybe it's just that these few months had been rather tough for me... although i'm used to things not working out the way i wanted them to... but having all these 'unsuccessful things' (be it big or small) happening one after another, just kinda took away any drive or motivation for me to live my daily life...

felt so much like crying while in the bus on the way back from bedok camp... but lucky the 'pain' was still bearable, so i didn't... just feel sooo demoralised right now...

Top 5 Things Every Extrovert Should Know About Introverts

interesting n true... do spare some time to read this :)

http://briankim.net/blog/2007/10/top-5-things-every-extrovert-should-know-about-introverts/

20. Quek Rongsheng

Personal Information

Overview
Full Name............ Quek Rongsheng
Date Of Birth....... 26.4.1982
Place Of Birth....... Singapore
Languages........... English, Chinese, Teochew (Basic)
Description.......... Obese Guy
Personality........... Introvert
Reputation........... Family


Happiness
General Happiness.... Finding it hard to adjust to his life
Major Concerns........ Wants to live a simple life
Short-term Plans...... Hoping to find a new job, a girlfriend

Changes at work...

recently just had another change in our district... by rite it shouldn't cause much of a problem, but then i kinda didn't handle it well... usually i'll be stationed around raffles place area to service machines... but starting from this week we kinda had a slight adjustment in our area, suntec city now belongs to the east district... n since we south district is short of 1 area to handle... we were given harbour front area...

so, i kinda got re-located to tanjong pagar area to service machines... i didn't like it at all, not that i gotta re-adjust to the area, cus when i 1st join this CO. i went all around the town area to service machines... n kinda know where the buildings n offices r located... the problem is, my office is in tanjong pagar oso... n i hate it if they get me to service a machine in our own office... u might think what is the fuss all abt... shouldn't it be more relax if i were to service machines in my own CO.?

think abt it... ppl in the office knows me, if i go there n do servicing... they might judge the way i do things... n i don't like that... n if it happens that there's a problem i can't solve, i would find it embarassing... although there would be managers/colleagues there who could help if i got stuck there, but it would make me look bad... n i don't like that kinda feeling...

but it's only been 2 days since the change, n i already couldn't take it... it's soooo boring n tiring working at tanjong pagar area... no place to sit/rest, not much public toilets around as mostly are shop houses... n these 2 days i've been having my lunch at our city store, where we draw out parts... i felt sitting in there talking with the uncles are more relaxing than going up to my office's pantry to take my lunch...

at raffles place i would always hang around OUB centre or just outside the mrt station... there u could sit anywhere... n everywhere u wanna go there would be underpass incase of rain, n variety of food there is sooooo much more than tanjong pagar... although more expensive... still if there's no call i could shop around OUB centre... at tanjong pagar i could only sit in the city store...

actually i've already asked my manager if i could swap back to raffles place, cus another colleague of mine wanted to work in tanjong pagar... but he called me today asking why i wanna change... did he even ask my other colleague as well? as if i'm the only one beri unhappy abt the change... some others are too... its just that they didn't voice out much...

then he suggested to me if i wanna be stationed at harbour front... i was like what? is there any restrictions for me to go back raffles place? if so just tell me... hai~ so fed up with this job...

i don't think i could wait till next march... i wonder if after i get bonus n leave... will i be able to survive till march... cus of the reservist between jan n feb, i can't possibly get a job at that time... just hope i could endure till march...

listening to stephanie sun's earlier songs... the lyrics of some of the songs really meaningful...

...突然觉得我只是一个人
有点孤单浅浅的忧郁
我不知道明天会不会很美丽...

...今天日记空白没有关系
不必每件事情都在意
不想工作 不想困扰自己
不必刻意想你...

...一点点你的微笑
已经让我觉得温暖...

...还是害怕一个人时就很难忘记
还是害怕突然宁愿当初没有决定...

...我曾经看见困难
变得胆小 不够勇敢
但还是要相信
相信感觉 相信简单...

hmm... 相信感觉 相信简单~ sometimes believing in our own feelings n following those feelings would just make our lifes more complicated... thinking that it's a simple thing, but would just end up in a mess... so i rather 宁愿当初没有决定...