call me weak if u want to, i dont care... i just cant take it anymore, the stress i'm taking in is unbearable, 2day is the worst... after the last call on the way to the mrt i almost cried out... but i just hold on to the tears, n swallow them back in... my head hurts so much... y am i having so much stress?

wanna fix the machine but the parts needed no stock... so everytime i encounter tis i try to modify the parts so it could work again... end up its not the way... i should haf inform the manager so he could help to look for the parts elsewhere... so wat i did it useless loh... but no stock n want me to do the job fast, how is it possible? n everytime no stock no stock... then wat for is there a service department in fuji xerox? when the customer call for service n we cant fix the machine cus no stock... fucked up system... i'm new n already stressing over just ONE model of machine... there r still soo many other machines i need to learn... i cant imagine the amount of stress when i am trained in other models...

i cant do it anymore... gonna start looking for jobs now...

i'm so tired, mentally... really need to let off some stress... if not i would go crazy... feel so much like crying but the tears wont come out...

2day sunday... actually was suppose to go swim wif rudy tis afternoon... but due to the rain, it was cancelled... n i stayed home whole day... watching tv n sleeping... took a short nap at abt 3pm... then woke up abt 4pm plus n when back to slp again... cus there's just notingy to do n notingy to watch... didnt even feel like playing games, cus i know after few mins of playing i would get tired of the game... sometingys bothering me i know... but i'm just not sure wat...

went tampines again tis evening after dinner... went there to buy my new bag... the one i having cant let me put my laptop in together wif my other stuffs, cus it would surely rip open... too heavy liaoz... so went CS Metro to get a new one... managed to squeeze everytingy including my laptop into it... feels kinda heavy but at least better than the old one... just hope tis one can last me, n hope it wont give way...

nowadays no matter where i go where i travel... i kept tinking n tinking... tinking abt life, work, love, y can some ppl live so happy n others so sad? y some can find love so easily n others just doesnt haf the fate... y some dont haf to work so hard n money would keep pouring in for them, while others haf to work 24/7 just to earn enough to pay for their home...

yes would ppl say all these r challenges... tests... but for fuck? u wan challenges n tests u go through them urselves... leave me alone...

walking in the rain~

came home tis evening... it started to rain while i was at tanjong pagar, from the mrt could see the rain falling outside... was hoping it wasnt raining tat heavily in bedok... luckily it wasnt, in fact it had kinda stopped raining when i reached bedok interchange... only few drops falling from the sky... actually thgt abt taking bus home, cus really really beri tired... dont know how long i could take it, walking every mon-fri, standing from start work till the end... only get the chance to sit when having lunch, sometimes dont even haf the time or mood 4 lunch...

anyway, decided to walk home after buying my dinner... since it's quite cooling... hehe but didnt expected it to start raining again when i was almost home, was abt 200m from my blk n it started to rain... n it wasnt small loh :P

but i didnt reach back 4 my umbrella, partly cus i lazy n i'm so near my home already, no use taking it out loh... anyway, its been a beri long time since i stroll in the rain... the feeling so nice, drops of rain falling on my face n body... so cooling, makes me feel so relax... too bad i cant stay in the rain too long cus i'm carrying a bag n a laptop... didnt want them to get wet... maybe next raining season should take a trip down to east coast n relax there n wait for the sky to rain :P

kinda feel so tired, so lost... die sia, was suppose to be happy at wat i'm doing 1 leh... y feeling more n more sian... cannot like tat leh... how? how?

so amazed tat my teamleader, a gal leh, can work 4 so long... n she can withstand the heavy stuffs we carrying n walking/standing almost everytime throughout the 5/5.5 days work week... n somemore gotta face all kinds of customers... some r really understanding n nice... but some just dont know wat we r going through everyday... she's like superwoman to me loh... hahaha

hehe cant even compare to a gal :P feel abit useless... hehehe tis morning was feeling so down... tat i even thought abt working in Mac... tinking abt starting from low level n maybe work my way up to like branch/floor manager or sometingy hahaha... well, my interest is in F&B wat :P too bad cant go into hospitality management n no $$ for shatec

hehe well no use tinking so much now oso... anyway i oso just wan a simple life, i'm not like most of my frenz who must haf an exciting/fulfilling life... simple is enough for me n my parents...

WORK

days past... feeling~ ok loh... once in awhile will feel beri tired, cus didnt give myself much time to rest when i'm walking around outside... cus need to find n travel to customers' place n must try to complete as much calls a day as possible... saying~ 6 to 7 calls per day...

was quite happy cus i did 7 calls ytd... but mostly quite easy, 2day just did 5 calls... n went back to the noise problem at uod plaza 2 again... finally i found the source of the squeaking sound... it wasnt from the take away clutch... instead it was from one of the tray's take away roller n its gears... hai~ y didnt i troubleshoot properly last week...

i kinda having doubt whether i would stay at tis job for long... cus it's rather tiring, both mentally n physically...mentally from customers n physically from all the walking around city area... at least hope i could last 1 or 2 yrs wif them... kept tinking abt going into F&B industry, but it would oso be beri tiring...cus gotta serve customers oso hahaha... but at least dont haf to walk so much, i tink :P or can try for pilot again muahaha, still no news from my 1st application, tink it went down the trash... or into their store room hahaha

hehe finally, i'm exploring areas in tanjong pagar, raffles place n city hall... cus back then i didnt know how to get around in these areas... only know there's suntec n marina square hahaha :P i find it funny, cus during weekends i wanted to go shopping or just walk around in marina square/suntec/funan IT mall/peninsula, but i didnt find the time to lift my fat ass n go down :P n now every weekdays i'm walking pass n even into these places... yet no time for shopping... cant even slow down the pace to haf a look around :P hai~

sian~ feel like falling sick liaoz... keep having runny nose since i came home... just hope it would get better 2molo morning... if not then see how tingys go... maybe take half day mc or wat loh hahaha :P nv really took mc like since long long long long ago hahahaha :P

3rd day out in the field... everytingy going downhill... 1st day was gd, but only did 5 calls... 2nd day went out field only after lunch, did 3 calls only so still ok bah... then 2day... cant believe it would turn out soooooo bad...

was asked by dist. manager to to just change a fuser assembly, should be a simple job cus i fix up an assembly in the office b4 going 2 customer's place... had to change it cus suspected a squeaking came from it as other parts were changed n noise was still there... but when i fixed the new one in... the sound is still there, n worst tingy is, the new assembly is slightly bigger than the old 1, n there was a loud noise due to vibration against the cover...

then notice there was a slight modification to the old assembly casing, so i change the casing only n the sound was gone... hai~ but the squeaking sound still there... no matter wat i change or clean it wont go away... i even gotta call teamleader for help n luckily she was just in the opposite building... but we still cant solve it... end up gotta tell the customer i be back next week after i consulte the matter wif manager... hai~ know how long i spent 2day at tis 1st customer? 6 full hrs...

didnt had lunch 2day becus of tis 1st call... partly cus i started the call at 10am... n was stuck through lunch time, n i used the lunch time to get spare parts... didnt wanna get a quick bite on the way cus i was rushing already, n travelling around in the city area is not as easy as u tink... so i just got a drink to keep myself hydrated...

so after tat i got a 2nd call, but it was almost 4.30pm... so tis was my last call of 2day... TWO calls only in tis entire day... wat the fuck sia... new engineer oso cannot like tat lah... hai~ not over yet... i was raining at raffles place when i got the 2nd call... so decided to take mrt to chinatown... but its so crowded n it feels like there was sometingy wrong wif the train, cus its like delayed due to the rain... so i went back out 2 find a taxi... but all taxi stands r full of ppl n shortage of taxi...

i waited for abt 20mins in queue for the taxi... i couldnt wait anymore cus there were a few more ppl infront of me... so i went back to mrt... by the time i got to chinatown point it was already 5.15pm but luckily the customer knock-off at 6pm... so it still allows me to finish my call... but all i could do there was just some cleaning, cus the spare store was close at 5pm... luckily cleaning was able to solve the problem...

finish the job at abt 6pm... saw the Mac in chinatown point decided to get a drink... but then i ended up taking my lunch+dinner there... funny tingy i notice at the Mac was like there were quite a number of 'china-looking' gals working there... cus it's chinatown? hehehe

hai~ 2 calls only... next week still gotta go back to the noise problem... ARGHH... then i got a call for next mon morning... n the problem for the customer's machine was oso noise problem... shit, i hate noise problems...

hai~ y spoil my long weekend? no job is easy... but if there is, do inform me... pls!! hahaha :P

No longer a virgin... :P

so tired loh 2day... started doing from 9.40am till 5.30pm... but it was kinda fun hehe... cus it's the 1st time after so much training n following ppl around... i finally got the chance to do my beri 1st call... was abit worried at 1st cus scare i cant find the customer's place... luckily got a mini streetdirectory wif me... but it oso took me quite some time to search for the location in the map before going to the customer's place... i kinda feel like a prostitute, cus move from customer to customer to service their machines hahaha :P

2day i started from fuji xerox tower... walk all the way to cecil st, then to boat quay n had lunch at the Mac there, then go raffles place, n back to tanjong pagar area... wah my legs r now aching :P walk so much n some moments gotta rush abit cus the place quite far... n perspire so much till white residue appear on my black shirt :P... tink if 2molo i doing calls again would try take bus or taxi if the customers r quite far away hehehe... but for now i really gotta get familiarise wif raffles place, city hall n tanjong pagar areas...

hai~ but 2day do only 5 calls... quite slow, due to the time i spent on searching for the customer's location n time took to walk there... gotta work abit faster... cus must do at least 6 calls everyday... but i kinda starting to enjoy my work... hope it would last :P

93.3fm music diary~

tis gal secretly admires a guy during university, then got to know each other through frenz... then throughout the years of study the guy quite gd 2 the gal, but nv express anytingy... then gal oso nv... but after they start working, they met up one day n the guy expressed his feelings to the gal n she was overjoyed... saying all the years been busy wif study n didnt tink is ready for her... but now it's time, so decided to let the gal know...

hahaha.............

so easy? all those years, no 'obstructions' no notingy? gal dont fall for other guys? u mean it's tat much easier to be wif a gal who oso has the hearts for u too... but tat isn't always the case 4 everyone rite? well, i myself dont tink tats the case for everyone... at least not for me... would be a miracle for a gal to admire me, secretly? i dont even dare tink abt it... hahaha hai~~

hehe 2day did sometingy out of my simple life... dont usually gave it any thought before 2day... it's the beri 1st time i donated my blood... n agreed to be a bone marrow donor if ever needed :P

before 2day i had oso donated some blood lah, but mostly to mosquitoes muahaha :P anyway, the donation was held at my company n since i was following my team leader for OJT n she wanted to donate so i went as well loh... hehe n yah i didnt type wrongly, my team leader is a gal, the one n only female engineer in the whole company... kinda cute lah hehehe oops :P

not a simple gal loh... can do almost watever male engineers r doing... only carry heavy tingys sometimes need help loh but otherwise she quite gd at her work... had some chats wif her abt tingys not related to work... then kinda realised tat my life is kinda boring... i mean more boring than i had ever thought it has been... hehe cus when she told me her interests n hobbies etc, i am like wahhhh... not the average gal i would know...

hehe compared to my hobbies n interests... i even had to pause n tink when someone ask me wat they r... hmm lets see, swimming? which i stopped since i started work, n somemore it's just a leisure swim... basketball? haha not sure how long i nv touch the ball already... play ps2/pc games? wats so interesting abt them? i'm not an expert in games oso loh... actually come to tink of it... i haf notingy tat i'm gd at... maybe should go back to archery or start learning guitar, n try to make sometingy out of the tingys i do... instead of just doing for fun...

tink i'm just too plain boring... tat's y 24 yrs already still no gf...

24 Regrets of Past 24 Years~

1) Eat too much fastfood during childhood tat's y become fat
2) Didn't learn any form of martial arts during childhood
3) Didn't learn any kind of music instruments during childhood (except recorder haha)
4) Never keep in touch with primary sch frenz
5) Didn't pick up any cooking skills
6) Let pride take control of me, didn't dare speak up to the gal i love
7) Never worked part time jobs during sch holidays to earn savings
8) Didn't pass O-level english/geography on the 1st try
9) Didn't work part time in hotel industries to gain any experiences
10) Never had the chance to go into diploma in hospitality management
11) Never thought abt wat to do in the future when enrolling for an engineering diploma
12) Didn't continue taking advance driving theory test after the 1st failed attempt
13) Never go get a driver's licence during poly times
14) Still never speak up to the gal i love
15) Worked part time n neglected year 2 studies
16) Chose computer engineering for interest but failed year 2
17) Changed course to electronics engineering n repeated 2nd year of study in poly
18) Didn't maintain my weight after losing abt 20kgs during BMT
19) Never work hard enough to pass IPPT during times in BMT n RSAF
20) Can't sign-on RSAF cause i know i can't pass IPPT
21) Didn't improve my interacting skills
22) Never keep much savings
23) Never had a galfriend before
24) Not sure if i had found the right job