Fantasy vs Reality

First week after receiving my pay cut on the 10th. Spent $130 on bills, $34 on insurance, the rest r gonna be used for daily life. But it's been kinda hard since i limited myself on my weekly spendings. I did spend under the limit i set for myself, which was $15 per week, but tat prevents my from spending $$ on any other tingys. I even gotta tink twice n calculate my allowance b4 i spend $ on food n drinks.

It's been sometime since i ever enjoyed my life. Keep on living day in day out tinking abt whether to spend the $$ anot. Still gotta wait till i find a perm job b4 all this could go away. But i can't work for a perm job till FEB, cause i'll be doing a NTUC job in JAN, n it requires me to work from 10pm till next morning 8am, which means i can't do any other 8-5 jobs or shifts or any other jobs during tat period of time. All i could do now is try to find some short duration part time to cover my JAN n FEB. Cause i would only get paid for the NTUC like end of FEB. Two months without $$ to spend, gonna be hard...

People r happy when the ORD, but i'm not... cause tat marks the actual start of my life, n my current situation won't do any gd for the start of my life... just hope tat i would be enjoying my life later on, cause i'm already suffering even b4 the start of my life journey...