mind clogged~

thought i could clear my mind with a swim... but it didn't... went swimming this morning, surprisingly it isn't crowded with kids... well, probably cus it's already 11am... think their lessons had ended...

anywayz... the water was cold, just rite to clear my thoughts... that's what i thought, but somehow instead of concentration on swimming, i kept telling myself to forget the stuffs 'hanging around' in my head... end up after the swim the thoughts r still stuck in my head... hai~

well... it doesn't really matter... maybe i'll go again next week after my driving lessons... i kept asking myself, "why the hell am i doing this all over again??"... once bitten, twice shy, a third time would mean that i'm a fool... to keep letting myself fall over...

but i just need that 1 little chance... that small little confirmation... that acceptance... i guess i'm just fooling myself again, that such chances would be available to me... yet, everything seems so nice... but i'm still getting that "i would end up falling again" feeling...

i couldn't help... but let the tears roll down my cheeks...