morale: very poor

just came back from my final session of my Phase 1 RT... took the ippt test, as usual, only pass my sit up... it's the only station i could perform extremely well... did abt 44 situps, a few no counts though...

the PTIs said if we dont feel like taking the 2.4km run, we don't have to run... cus they know some ppl after failing some static stations don't wanna waste time n energy to run, since the outcome is still fail... so i did just that... after doing the 4 statics i just return the no. tag n get my receipt...

the weird thingy is... i know i would nv pass... but somehow when i saw the word FAIL on the slip... i kinda felt demoralised... maybe cus i wanted to see abit of improvements after 7 sesions of RT... but still i didn't improve any... SBJ still 189cm, chin-up still 0, n shuttle run 10.9s... hai~ normally i won't feel anything abt failing ippt, but today is kinda a 1st for me to feel such a way...

or maybe it's just that these few months had been rather tough for me... although i'm used to things not working out the way i wanted them to... but having all these 'unsuccessful things' (be it big or small) happening one after another, just kinda took away any drive or motivation for me to live my daily life...

felt so much like crying while in the bus on the way back from bedok camp... but lucky the 'pain' was still bearable, so i didn't... just feel sooo demoralised right now...